Prenatal Parental Guilt

When I first became pregnant, choosing a name for the baby was the last thing on my prenatal checklist. My previous experience with Rylan told me it could wait.


When I was pregnant with Rylan, I was completely convinced he was a girl and even had a cute little girl name picked out. I considered all of the effort choosing that name (and convincing Trevor to like that name) a waste of time and brainpower when we spotted that little boy part on the ultrasound. Sadly enough, we won't even use that name now because it randomly shot up into the top 10 baby girl names.


Then, after searching for boys names for 4 months and formulating a long list of possibilities, a little baby boy was born to us that didn't look like he matched any one of those 15 names. After so much consternating, the day he was born we went back to square one-- the baby name book. There, between Ryker and Rylee, was the perfect name for our little bundle of joy.


In short, we spent countless hours deliberating names during those 9 months, and the only time that actually counted was the 20 minutes Trevor spent thumbing through the baby name book after Rylan was born.


So when anyone has asked me if we have a name for our little girl, up until two weeks ago I've nonchalantly dismissed that idea with a wave of my hand, repeated this brief history, and informed them that we were not going to waste our time and make the same mistake twice. Seriously, do I look like a greenie?


Up until two weeks ago.


About two weeks ago I started panicking.


How can I not have a name for my child? What kind of a mother calls the baby "the baby" up until birth? And shouldn't I have SOME kind of idea? What if the miraculous 20 minutes that produced her brother's name does not happen this time, and we deliberate for months, and the 9 months we should have spent deliberating before her arrival becomes 9 months we spend deliberating AFTER her arrival, and we call her nothing but "the baby" until she's WALKING????? THEN what kind of a mother am I? ?!??!??


You can see how a pregnant woman such as I could work herself into a tizzy with such thoughts.


So in the last fourteen days I've begun The Search For the Perfect Name. And it has only added to my prenatal paranoia. I'm beginning to think I'm incapable of producing a suitable name for a sweet, feminine, lovely well adjusted girl-child. As I've run different ideas by various friends and family members, comments I've received include:


1. "It reminds me of that one horror film, you know, the one about..."


2. "It sounds like it would rhyme with anomaly"

and my personal favorite:

3. "It makes me think of a sausage"


So now, in place of feeling guily about my unfeeling lack of a name, I am guilt-stricken by the image I am already giving to my daughter of a horrific anomalous sausage, even before she is born or named.

And I thought it started after the baby came. I must still be a greenie.

Note: My excessively guilty conscious bids me tell you that comments # 2 and 3 weren't actually said to me by family or friends. Comment #2 was a thought I shockedly came to myself regarding a name I rather liked, and comment #3 was merely repeated to me by a friend as a comment another person had made regarding one of my favorite names. The end result, however, was the same. I severely questioned my ability to name a child. For the flow of the story, I told a white lie, but here I confess.
Ah, a burden lifted.

Note #2: Trevor points out to me that there is no resloution to this story. When my guilt is resolved, I'll let you all know. Until then, you are unresolved with me.

Note #3: Trevor also suggests I end with a question, such as "Does anyone have any ideas on names?" I'm not stupid enough to go there, but I will take his last suggestion and ask you all to pray for us so that we won't blight our child with a sausage name. So to end, and in resolution, please pray for me. Wait, I should make that big.

Please, please pray for us.